About Dutch daycare

M at daycare, having fun!

In the Netherlands, the paid maternity leave is 16 weeks long, including 4-6 weeks, one needs to take out before the delivery. That means that children go to daycare even as young as 3 months (although lots of people add their holidays or unpaid leave to their mat leave). Usually, children are not going for 5 full days but for 1-3 days a week, as it is a custom that (at least) the mother works part-time after having children. What we see lots amongst our friends and acquaintances is that the mother and father both go to working 4 days a week (and the mothers often even go down to 2-3 days). Many people get help from their own parents who come to babysit for a day or two. In this way, formal daycare might not be needed so much.

General

When choosing for child care options, one broadly has two formal options: kinderdagverblijf/kinderopvang (the professional daycare centre) and gastouder (a licenced childminder/host parent that can take up to 6 children up to the age of 2 years). From 2 years to 4 years (the school-age here), a child can go to a peuterspeelzaal (preschool/playgroup) to socialize, get ready for school, learn Dutch if applicable. This is also made possible for parents who don't work, as there is a subsidy available from the local government.

Costs

Daycare is expensive here! You get a subsidy from the government that is dependant on your income. How many days you get the subsidy for, is dependent on how many days you are working (e.g. when you work 3 days, you get the subsidy for 3 days and if you want the baby to go 4 days, you need to pay the full fee for the fourth day). The hourly fee is different for the professional daycare centre (about 8,5 euros, depending on the contract) and the host parent (about 6,5 euros, depending again). So, with our contract, the total fee of M's one month at daycare is 1900 euros. We pay one part of it, about a third. People with very high income need to pay 97% themselves and people with very low income only 3%. You can find these tables on the internet, but usually, it is best to contact the finances department at daycare to ask which type of contract would be most suitable for you and how much you would need to pay.

Our story

Our child goes to a regular daycare centre (kinderdagverblijf) less than 1 km from our house. We made this decision as there were not many host parents available in the area and even then, they don't take babies for 5 days a week. We also like the idea that you are not dependant on their holidays or them getting sick etc (although you have a contract with a bureau of host parents, so if they are professional, they might organize you something).

M started daycare when she was 7 months old, by that time we had had my parents in law over to help with care for 3 months. I think that this gave me an option to get used to being away from baby and the fact that someone else is caring for her. After that, it was time for daycare.

Before her official first day, she had one getting-used-to-day. Normally, a baby would have more, but it is indeed still corona time... I didn't want to risk more contacts when not necessarily needed. The first days were a little rough, she was sleeping very little and was upset when she went to sleep. It took about 2-3 days to get used to the new environment. Now she is very happy when she goes there, she is said to be very jolly and independent over there. She loves playing with new things and interacting with the ladies who work there.

I find her schedule at daycare a bit messed up concerning naps - she goes down for her first nap much later than at home (at 10 or 11 even versus 9:30 at home) and so for the second nap. She sleeps a bit less during daycare days. Nevertheless, it doesn't seem to be affecting her sleep for the nights or the following days. I just think it is not realistic to expect her to sleep so quickly after arriving at daycare. I just hope the transition to one nap will be going OK at the daycare.

Here, a baby can be brought from 7:30 in the morning and needs to be picked up before 18/18:30. You are flexible with drop-off and pick-up. Our daughter is signed up for 5 days, but so far I have been able to leave her home for my one day off per week. From middle March, she will go for 5 full days. I have some mom guilt about it but OK, this is how things are now.

I find it fine that she is going to daycare and that I am not at home with her full-time. I think I like having something else to do than just baby but it is juggling quite a bit of the time. What if the baby gets sick? It will always take you by surprise, and be prepared that you might get that bug as well. In general, I think that all the fear I had for her going was not needed. It is not so bad and we still have time together with her. We still love her despite the fact that she will be there for 5 days a week.

Tips regarding daycare

- Sign up for daycare already early, during the pregnancy, especially if you need many days.

- How to choose? I would say, pick one close to home and on your way to work and also keep in mind how to get there (can you just walk with the baby carriage or park there when you drive?). Go and talk to people and see if you get a good feeling about it. Look if people are sitting on the ground with the babies and interact with them. See which kind of toys are around and if these suit your style of parenting (open-ended play, e.g). See if there are children from different cultures. Some questions to ask:

- What will be given as formula? Can you bring pumped milk if breastfeeding?

- What is served for food? Can you make requirements for having no sugar, no juice, vegetarian/vegan food etc?

- How is sleep organized? Where do they sleep? Can you have the baby sleeping outside / with white noise / with a special sleeping bag? Do they wake from naps? Which schedule can be followed? Will they wait until the baby falls asleep and sit with them if the baby can't fall asleep yet?

- When the baby goes, give them a special item from home, such as a teddy, and have it come home with them first so it keeps the smell of home (M has a bunny rabbit but she actually has gotten attached to her Myhummy and her daycare bag...)

- For the first days at daycare, it might be good to be able to pick them up in the afternoon when they haven't slept enough so it won't affect the night.

- They send nice photos and videos on the app, plus her schedule of the day. You can also always call to ask how they are doing!