I wrote about the development and our life with our daughter monthly and will try to do this for our son, little O too :-) This was our daughter's first month.
These first weeks have been a joy to have our son around. A newborn second time around is much easier, we know in general what to do, feel quickly how to react, and are more relaxed. The hardest thing has been combining the care and needs of our daughter with this of our son.
It was an amazing and strange feeling to bring our son home. Our world had changed within those 7 hours of delivery and a new person - beautiful and lovely, so special - was here. We came home by car and there he was, in his car seat, so tiny.
For the first 8 days we had kraamzorg - baby care - in our house which was helpful but also tiring. This time she did less chores and drank more coffee :-) Nevertheless, it was helpful in any case, also with our daughter.
Our son was born with 3405 gr and 53 cm. In the first day he had trouble keeping his temperature (was 36.5, then 36.4 and then 36.0 after coming home from the hospital) and was given 10 ml formula and the breastmilk I had expressed during the 3rd trimester.
Feeding
The baby was latching immediately after birth and stayed on the breast for an hour. Opposite what I remember from the birth of our daughter, the feeding wasn't painful at all. He hasn't had any problems with the breastfeeding technique. Nevertheless, as we knew, breastfeeding was potentially very difficult as our journey last time was very hard. And indeed, he lost weight on day 2 and day 3 (in total 9,7%) and we started with formula on day 3 (20 ml after feeding with finger-feeding or tube on the breast). I also started pumping on day 2 (and had production already on that day). Milk started to come in on day 5 with complaints that I also had last time (cold shivers and achy feeling at night, painful and swollen breasts).
We had a lactation consultant over on day 2 and I'm still exchanging messages with her. We sadly haven't gotten to exclusive breastfeeding but I'm feeding him on the breast every feed and then supplementing with expressed breastmilk and formula (60 ml and 90 ml during the evening feed). He gets about 300 ml supplement per day (bm and formula together). And most importantly, he has gained weight well, already on day 4 and at the age of 16 days old he already weighed 3605 gr (+200 gr and +500 gr from lowest weight). He was on birth weight on day 9. This in any case is going much better than with our daughter who took 2 weeks to reach birth weight. I'm still pumping but not 8 times a day or powerpumping like last time, we want to not have this go too far like last time and my hands are very full with 2 kids. I'm pumping about 4-5 times a day after feeds, first with Medela Symphony and now with my own Ardo Calypso, the production is around 10-30 ml (main amount from the right breast which is still way better but the left one is producing some!).
Emotionally feeding is still hard as this little guy is really not a fan of the bottle (or a pacifier), he frowns when you give him the bottle (it has gotten less, I guess he is getting used to it :() and really prefers the breast. He would deserve to be fully breastfed. In many ways he is way more like a breastfed baby who also would like to be on the breast for comfort. This is great but still emotionally difficult as breastfeeding is not going ideally.
Our son is a very calm little guy, he is satisfied most of the day and really easy to care for. The evening feeds can be hard and he can have a lot of problems with his digestion, his burps and poops. The hardest time is 19-22. He poops a minimum of 1 time during every feed and sometimes in between too (around 8-10 x day, still spuitluiers).
Schedule
He yet doesn't have a schedule but our life is divided to 3-4 hour blocks: he gets fed on the breast, then gets a bottle, I try to pump, he is changed (this all takes minimum 1 hour), then we put him to bed. He sleeps upstairs in the cosleeper next to me (my husband sleeps in the other room) during the night and early morning, or in the stroller in the room or last days outside; sometimes he sleeps in the sling, e.g. He sleeps usually 1-3 hours and then the cycle is repeated. We try to go outside for a walk every day but this is for sure harder as I also need to care for our daughter. He sleeps around 2,5-3,5 h at night and 45 min to 3 h at daytime.
Transition from 1 to 2
This has been the hardest of the whole month. Our daughter is very proud and great with the baby, she is a wonderful big sister. She wants to show the baby off (to the teacher, to her friends, guests, the people at a cafe we go to, the people at the petting zoo). She loves looking at him, stroking his head, holding him, talking to him. It is extremely cute. She likes bringing him things, sometimes helping with changing, searching for clothes etc. Only thing she finds hard is when he cries and when she needs us a lot when we need to be busy with the baby.
It also has been a big emotional challenge for her to not be the only child. We had a very tough period with emotional development in the summer and it had just gotten better in September and October and then when the baby arrived, we saw the same things, thankfully only focused on us and not the baby. She started sleeping shorter, either having problems going to bed, waking up at night or early in the morning or all those things at the same time. She would be tired, cranky, demanding, would argue and really show difficult behaviors (thankfully only verbally). It was the hardest in the first and second week (also a school holiday). She was attending a skating course and we had at least one play appointment for her per day to give her some other focus than our baby-centered life. She was strongly driven towards my husband, looking actually as a reaction to me spending a lot of time with the baby and her missing me. When we started talking more about it and emotions relating to having a little brother, she has been able to verbalize it a little, e.g. by saying that she wants to be on my lap now, has said once that she would like the baby to still be in my belly so I would have 2 hands for just her. We are trying to welcome all the feelings but say that not all behaviors are tolerated in our family. Evenings or late afternoons, especially when I need to feed the baby and she needs attention too can be very hard. From January I have both kids 4 afternoons a week alone and this still feels daunting, I need to say. Right now we need to try to get sleeping in order for her and hopefully this will help as well (it is very hard when she wakes up from 5 am...).
We are trying to support the big sister with her emotions and try to make it more about us than the baby if something needs to be delayed, tell the baby sometimes that he needs to wait, as
We have celebrated his birth with some baby visits already and of course with our family via the internet. Last week, his grandparents from Canada came here for 1 month to meet him and help us a little. That is great because the days with 2 kids are heavy. Thankfully I recovered very quickly from pregnancy and delivery (from day 3 I felt great) and can do everything now except lifting heavy things, like the cargo bike. I have taken M to school and ballet and back, driven with 1 or 2 kids and already done lots of chores (as my husband is very tired when he needs to be awake at night or early morning and has been sick already 2 times, I have also done mornings and evenings alone). We have gone to a cafe, craft fair and baby stores with the little guy.
Statistics:
1 month:
Wearing size 50 (and some are still too big, esp Unaduna which falls big)
Weighs 4355 gr (!) and is 56 cm tall.
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