I was reading a well-recommended book Ik lust dat niet and wanted to write down some tips from there. This book is targeted to deal with the picky toddler behaviour and have the mealtimes go by happily.
- Mealtimes are something that family should ideally have together at the table, no phones, TV, other distractions.
- The rule of shared responsibility. Namely, the parents are responsible for what, when and where will be eaten (variety of foods, consequent mealtimes (with 3 main meals and max 3 snacks) at the table, together). The child is responsible for if and how much is eaten. If the child doesn't eat anything and demands for a sandwich an hour after the meal, they need to wait (and may have a glass of water).
- Child will intrinsically eat enough, give them time.
- For a main meal, offer them: 2 different cooked vegetables, 2 types of raw vegetables, 1 food your child will for sure eat, e.g. bread, boiled eggs. You don't need to cook all that every evening, but you can use leftovers from previous days.
- If the child doesn't touch their plate, you can reserve the food to them, but don't just give them the plate back like that the next meal when everyone else will get new food.
- If you decide to offer dessert, like a pudding or fruit, serve it on the table with all the other food, don't use it as a prize. Food is supposed to be neutral, you don't need to earn it!
- Child can leave the table, but they should have a little closure ritual, like putting away their plate or a bib.
Foremore, there are 10 helpful rules:
- keep offering the new things, it might take 20 times until they are willing to try.
- praise every step of trying, like even having the scary food on the table, smell it, lick it etc.
- let your child help with cooking.
- give good example by trying new foods, eating without TV or your phone.
- don't expect them to like the food, this is not your job, your job is just to provide it.
- combine tops with flops (like offering a fruit they don't like with something they will like).
- offer variation and color.
- offer food in bite-ready pieces: it is shown kids pick more fruit and eat it when it is made into a fruit salad. Or google "monkey platter" for inspiration.
- make the food fun (e.g. you can play a game for them to come to the table or they can have a finger puppet who is scared to try new foods, but will still do it in the end).
- let it go - don't count their steps or force them, this is not effective! Mealtime is not about eating, but spending time together!